#FREE ESSAY GRADER TUMBLR DRIVER#

You - stay out of their heads.Īnd while you’re avoiding “thought” verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs “is” and “have.” Let their actions and words show their thoughts.

Get them together and get the action started. Instead: “Back in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.”īetter yet, get your character with another character, fast. No more transitions such as: “Wanda remember how Nelson used to brush her hair.” Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember.

#FREE ESSAY GRADER TUMBLR DRIVER#

Or worse, the driver was drinking, and he’d pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accident…”Ī character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you can’t use “thought” verbs or any of their abstract relatives. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.įor example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take.”Ī better break-down might be: “The schedule said the bus would come by at noon, but Mark’s watch said it was already 11:57. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. “During role call, in the breath after the teacher said Tom’s name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout: ‘Butt Wipe,” just as Tom was saying, ‘Here’.” Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail.

Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.ĭon’t tell your reader: “Lisa hated Tom.” If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Plus, she’d promised to water the plants for her neighbor…”ĭo you see how the opening “thesis statement” steals the thunder of what follows? Don’t do it. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or there would be a mess to clean up. Traffic was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. “Brenda knew she’d never make the deadline. Typically, writers use these “thought” verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In this form, you can call them “Thesis Statements” and I’ll rail against those, later) In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.” The combination lock would still be warm from her ass. She’d roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen was always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it. Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing.

Free essay grader tumblr